Of all the psychological impacts of buying a house is starting to think of it as "my future house". I can't shake the feeling that I'm some love-sick kid talking about my "future husband".
As the time draws nearer, I've started coming to terms with the fact that my future resides in a green kitchen, bedrooms with a fireplace in between the closets, and let us not forget the catalyst: my pink bathroom ceramics.
My future is in a pink sink and tub. And I couldn't be more happy.
And also terrified. I oscillate between elation and the unjustifiable fear that the purchase of a house will kill me.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
The Benefits of Solo House Shopping
I've written before about the leap it took to get me into house shopping on my own. What I haven't written about is how once I started house shopping, how happy I was to be doing it solo. Why? Here are some of the benefits people overlook:
Easier to Schedule Tours. House shopping right now is a LOT of impromptu house touring, especially in this market. There are a lot more buyers and a lot fewer properties. Interest rates are low, which allows more people to afford more of a loan, but properties are scarce, since many people who bought in the bubble are underwater and don't have the liberty to sell for current market value. Getting a house is pretty much a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am sort of deal these days. If you are even slightly interested in a place, you have to get in there and make an offer ASAP. The good ones are flying off the shelves. Honestly, there were tons of places that were gone within just days of being listed. Working my schedule was bad enough, but having to get another person there as well would have been a nightmare, and I'd probably STILL be looking for a place. Not to say it isn't doable, because people do it all the time. But only having one person did make it a lot easier.
No Need to Compromise. Relationships are about compromise. House hunting while in a relationship is all compromise. House hunting solo is all about what YOU want. I'm not going to lie, I probably never could have put an offer on my new place if a man had been involved. The bathroom is pink. And I don't mean 'the walls are pink, so we will have to paint this' kind of pink. I mean 'this bathroom is going to be part pink until we replace the tub and sink' kind of pink. Yeah, style was a different bird back in the 1940's. Personally, I'm excited for what will soon be my uber-feminine bathroom. I could see someone of the XY chromosomal variety taking a different view of it though.
No Financial Surprises. Yes, I am one of the few who made it through college without any debt. I owe a huge chunk of that to my wonderful parents, but I owe part of that as well to my own hard work. I worked 3 jobs my junior and senior years of college and commuted over 40 miles a day to keep my living expenses minimal. It sucked, but it is the reason why I am now purchasing a house as opposed to paying off loans. It's very easy to accept financial consequences and restrictions if they are directly related to your own choices. It's a lot harder when a partner's lifestyle is the one getting in the way. Which is why every sitcom ever has an episode about one character's secret debts or something.
No Need to Nag. If I could describe house buying in one word it would be "paperwork". Time sensitive paperwork. If I had a partner in this, I would be calling them 20x a day asking them if they had filed this, that, or the other thing. Naturally, morphing into a control freak is my response to stress and other people may not have this issue, but I am always glad to avoid transforming into a Were-Nag (like werewolf...except a nag).
No Need to Explain. Men are great at picturing the potential of a room with a few tweaks like paint color, right? Oh no...wait. I've never been able to convince a man to see a room with a hypothetical new paint color. And I'm glad I didn't have to.
Easier to Schedule Tours. House shopping right now is a LOT of impromptu house touring, especially in this market. There are a lot more buyers and a lot fewer properties. Interest rates are low, which allows more people to afford more of a loan, but properties are scarce, since many people who bought in the bubble are underwater and don't have the liberty to sell for current market value. Getting a house is pretty much a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am sort of deal these days. If you are even slightly interested in a place, you have to get in there and make an offer ASAP. The good ones are flying off the shelves. Honestly, there were tons of places that were gone within just days of being listed. Working my schedule was bad enough, but having to get another person there as well would have been a nightmare, and I'd probably STILL be looking for a place. Not to say it isn't doable, because people do it all the time. But only having one person did make it a lot easier.
No Need to Compromise. Relationships are about compromise. House hunting while in a relationship is all compromise. House hunting solo is all about what YOU want. I'm not going to lie, I probably never could have put an offer on my new place if a man had been involved. The bathroom is pink. And I don't mean 'the walls are pink, so we will have to paint this' kind of pink. I mean 'this bathroom is going to be part pink until we replace the tub and sink' kind of pink. Yeah, style was a different bird back in the 1940's. Personally, I'm excited for what will soon be my uber-feminine bathroom. I could see someone of the XY chromosomal variety taking a different view of it though.
No Financial Surprises. Yes, I am one of the few who made it through college without any debt. I owe a huge chunk of that to my wonderful parents, but I owe part of that as well to my own hard work. I worked 3 jobs my junior and senior years of college and commuted over 40 miles a day to keep my living expenses minimal. It sucked, but it is the reason why I am now purchasing a house as opposed to paying off loans. It's very easy to accept financial consequences and restrictions if they are directly related to your own choices. It's a lot harder when a partner's lifestyle is the one getting in the way. Which is why every sitcom ever has an episode about one character's secret debts or something.
No Need to Nag. If I could describe house buying in one word it would be "paperwork". Time sensitive paperwork. If I had a partner in this, I would be calling them 20x a day asking them if they had filed this, that, or the other thing. Naturally, morphing into a control freak is my response to stress and other people may not have this issue, but I am always glad to avoid transforming into a Were-Nag (like werewolf...except a nag).
No Need to Explain. Men are great at picturing the potential of a room with a few tweaks like paint color, right? Oh no...wait. I've never been able to convince a man to see a room with a hypothetical new paint color. And I'm glad I didn't have to.
Single Girl Buys Her Own House (but WHY?)
I decided to buy my own place when I turned 24.
I had always wanted to own my own place, but I had filed that dream away a little column labeled "To Be Done with Your Man". Single ladies don't buy their own houses. After all, how could you be sure that the house you picked would suit your future family? What if you got a man, and then he didn't like your place? What if your sink broke? Who would fix it? No, you waited for a man, and then you get your place. Now get back to the steno pool.
Truthfully, I didn't even know I had these thoughts until I started seriously looking to buy. And my 24th birthday was the catalyst that brought that on.
24 has always been a sort of milestone for me. When I was 4, my aunt Diane called to wish me a happy birthday. As we talked and I colored with m favorite rainbow crayon, she casually asked what I thought I would be doing when I was twenty-four. I responded that I would be married, have my own house, have a good job, and be fresh out of college. When the fateful day approached, I realized that I would only be 2/4 on my dreams. Not exactly good enough for a girl who likes to hit her goals well in advance she can exceed them by the time they come due.
Not gonna lie, I was pretty frustrated about turning 24 and being single. It felt like all my dreams were on hold.
Then I realized it, my dreams weren't on hold because they had to be, they were on hold because I had decided that I couldn't fulfill them myself. I was putting myself into a forced limbo. And on second thought, I didn't really want a man because I wanted the companionship or the comfort of a relationship. I wanted a man because I wanted to move forward with my goals and my life, and I had decided I needed a man to do that. So when I turned 24 with no man and no prospects, I had a choice to make. I could either wait for a man to come along and make my dreams come true, or I could whip out my big-girl wallet and make them come true for myself.
Naturally, the first option made me gag, so I opted for the second.
I thought for sure there was a logical reason why so few young women buy their own houses. Perhaps the cost was too prohibitive to do on a single income (yet young families with only one working parent do this all the time...and I don't have the cost of a child!). Perhaps it just wasn't safe (but that varies by neighborhood). Or maybe there's a little 1950's man inside us, whispering our ears "Listen, sugarlips, you've got a nice figure, but you need to let a man handle this" (This just in, male news correspondent Jamie Garnet is missing). After discussing finances with my bank, I knew there was no reason to wait for a man. Your girl can (learn to) fix a damn sink.
So I started looking.
However, even in this age of enlightened feminism, a single-lady buying her own place turned a few heads. And by a few, I mean all. If I had a nickle for every time someone asked "So it is going to be JUST you?", I wouldn't have had to dive into my savings for the down (Not true. I just wouldn't have had to ask my parents to help with closing). In the 21st century, the only thing that waits for marriage anymore is property ownership.
I'm not going to pretend it isn't scary. It is. It's a huge investment, and I'm doing it alone. But at the same time, there have been a lot of bonuses to the situation, included the respect I get every time I tell someone that I'm buying a house by myself. And the fact that I am pretty much the kind of woman talked about in most Destiny's Child/Beyonce songs (yesss).
So Prince Charming, if you're reading this, get yourself a lawyer. Cuz mama's a property owner now, and she fully intends to protect her assets in case of a divorce. In the words of the almighty Destiny's Child:
All the women who're independent, throw your hands up at me.
This just in: anyone want to teach me to fix a sink?
I had always wanted to own my own place, but I had filed that dream away a little column labeled "To Be Done with Your Man". Single ladies don't buy their own houses. After all, how could you be sure that the house you picked would suit your future family? What if you got a man, and then he didn't like your place? What if your sink broke? Who would fix it? No, you waited for a man, and then you get your place. Now get back to the steno pool.
Truthfully, I didn't even know I had these thoughts until I started seriously looking to buy. And my 24th birthday was the catalyst that brought that on.
24 has always been a sort of milestone for me. When I was 4, my aunt Diane called to wish me a happy birthday. As we talked and I colored with m favorite rainbow crayon, she casually asked what I thought I would be doing when I was twenty-four. I responded that I would be married, have my own house, have a good job, and be fresh out of college. When the fateful day approached, I realized that I would only be 2/4 on my dreams. Not exactly good enough for a girl who likes to hit her goals well in advance she can exceed them by the time they come due.
Not gonna lie, I was pretty frustrated about turning 24 and being single. It felt like all my dreams were on hold.
Then I realized it, my dreams weren't on hold because they had to be, they were on hold because I had decided that I couldn't fulfill them myself. I was putting myself into a forced limbo. And on second thought, I didn't really want a man because I wanted the companionship or the comfort of a relationship. I wanted a man because I wanted to move forward with my goals and my life, and I had decided I needed a man to do that. So when I turned 24 with no man and no prospects, I had a choice to make. I could either wait for a man to come along and make my dreams come true, or I could whip out my big-girl wallet and make them come true for myself.
Naturally, the first option made me gag, so I opted for the second.
I thought for sure there was a logical reason why so few young women buy their own houses. Perhaps the cost was too prohibitive to do on a single income (yet young families with only one working parent do this all the time...and I don't have the cost of a child!). Perhaps it just wasn't safe (but that varies by neighborhood). Or maybe there's a little 1950's man inside us, whispering our ears "Listen, sugarlips, you've got a nice figure, but you need to let a man handle this" (This just in, male news correspondent Jamie Garnet is missing). After discussing finances with my bank, I knew there was no reason to wait for a man. Your girl can (learn to) fix a damn sink.
So I started looking.
However, even in this age of enlightened feminism, a single-lady buying her own place turned a few heads. And by a few, I mean all. If I had a nickle for every time someone asked "So it is going to be JUST you?", I wouldn't have had to dive into my savings for the down (Not true. I just wouldn't have had to ask my parents to help with closing). In the 21st century, the only thing that waits for marriage anymore is property ownership.
I'm not going to pretend it isn't scary. It is. It's a huge investment, and I'm doing it alone. But at the same time, there have been a lot of bonuses to the situation, included the respect I get every time I tell someone that I'm buying a house by myself. And the fact that I am pretty much the kind of woman talked about in most Destiny's Child/Beyonce songs (yesss).
So Prince Charming, if you're reading this, get yourself a lawyer. Cuz mama's a property owner now, and she fully intends to protect her assets in case of a divorce. In the words of the almighty Destiny's Child:
The house I live in, I've bought it
The car I'm driving, I've bought it
I depend on me, I depend on me
The car I'm driving, I've bought it
I depend on me, I depend on me
All the women who're independent, throw your hands up at me.
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